Updated: Nov 17, 2021
Who hasn't been hurt by the acts or words of other people? Perhaps family often chastised you as a child, a coworker ruined a project, or your lover had an affair. Perhaps you've been through a terrible situation, such as being physically or emotionally assaulted by a close relative. These kinds of wounds can leave people with long-term feelings of anger and bitterness, as well as a desire for revenge.
When we get hurt, we may either hold on to our resentment, bitterness, and ideas of vengeance - or we can learn to forgive and move forward. What will you choose?
It's harder than it sounds to forgive someone, especially when the pain they caused us still haunts us at night. As a result, our sense of self-worth decreases. Our ambitions and hopes have been crushed, and we have lost something quite valuable to us. We would like to be compensated for our damages (Hoy, 2021).
Having these kinds of thoughts and feelings is normal, and letting go of your pain is also not an easy process. It takes time to forgive, but as you strive toward it, you will discover that it is well worth your time, instead of holding grudges.
To forgive is to set the prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you (Farrelly, n.d.). Never let resentment imprison you for the rest of your life. It will ruin you and your other relationships. Learn to forgive and it will take away the power that the other person still has in your life. Consider how forgiveness may improve your life by providing you with serenity, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness is more about our own hearts than it is about the other person. (Good Therapy, 2019).
Forgiveness has a great impact on both our physical and emotional health. According to Weir (2017), forgiveness is linked with positive mental health outcomes such as reduced anxiety, sadness, and severe psychiatric illnesses, as well as fewer physical health symptoms and lower death rates. Therefore, forgiveness is a necessary aspect of psychological healing.
None of us are perfect, at the end of the day. We all have a tendency to hurt one another as humans. Nobody's life has ever been perfect, and no one has ever needed forgiveness for whatever they said or did.
Farrelly, M. (n.d.). L. To Forgive Is To Set A Prisoner Free And Discover That The Prisoner Was You. Qouteikon. Retrieved from https://www.quoteikon.com/to-forgive-is-to-set-a-prisoner-free-and-discover-that-the-prisoner-w as-you.html.
Good Therapy. (2019). Forgiveness. Retrieved from https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/forgiveness.
Hoy, L. (2021). Why It's So Hard To Forgive. Issue I Face. Retrieved from https://issuesiface.com/magazine/why-is-it-so-hard-to-forgive.
Weir, K. (2017). Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner